He wanders into an odd little adult shop at the edge of town and asks the clerk what to do.
Seeing the Mercedes in the parking lot, the clerk knows that this man can afford the voodoo penis.
“The voodoo penis,” he explains, “Will pound her like she’s never been pounded before. Just tell it what to do. Voodoo penis, the counter.”
The little dildo jumps up and pounds the counter until the man says “Voodoo penis, the drawer.” The clerk explains that to make the voodoo penis stop all one must do is interact it to go somewhere else.
Impressed, the man takes the toy home to his wife. The young woman is embarrassed and shoves it away quickly. A few weeks later she is feeling frisky and remembers what her husband said about her new toy. “Voodoo penis, my pussy!” she exclaims.
The little feller goes at her. She comes and comes and comes but gets tired of it. She can’t pull it out, every time she lets go if it it goes right back, ripping through jeans to do its job.
Hours pass, and in desperation she starts off to the emergency room. The relentless pounding causes her to weave like a drunk driver and she gets pulled over.
“Have you been drinking?” asks the pig. “No..it...its... thuh... voo... doo... penis!” cries the woman.
“What are you on?” he insists “The ... voodoo... penis..... I’m... sober..... officer...”
Piggy doesn’t get to finish his next sentence. “Voodoo penis my ass, I'm taking you dow..”