Quickies

Quickies

What is the definition of "making love?"
Something a woman does while a guy is screwing her

What's the Cuban national anthem?
Row, Row, Row Your Boat

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar

What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?
Sum Ting Wong

What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment

What does it mean when the Post Office's flag is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring

Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
Because they're not going to work in the future either.

What do you call a Mississippi farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A pimp.

Why do Driver Education classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
The southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage.... along with a recipe.

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the "F" word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell "BINGO!"

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins, "Once upon a time..."
A southern fairytale begins, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit."

Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States.

To keep up with recent events, McDonalds is now offering a new Catholic burger. Its a fourty year old piece of meat between five year old buns.

Did you hear about the new divorce barbie?? Its quite a bargain, you get all of Ken's stuff right in the box.